Why Personal Branding Isn’t Just for Instagram
And what Barb, bold blazers, and a men’s store taught me about leadership
Growing up in a pretty small Indiana town, I didn’t learn about leadership from a book or a boss.
I learned about it from the corner of a men’s clothing store—watching high school boys roll jeans, swap stories, and own the room like they were born for it.
I was too young to join them, but I watched closely. They seemed older, cooler, confident. They belonged.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s where I started learning about presence—and something even bigger: personal branding.
At first, I thought personal branding meant looking polished. Over time, I realized it was much more than that. It wasn’t about how you look. It was about how you make people feel.
Enter Barb: The Stepmonster and Unintentional Personal Branding Coach
Not everyone loved my spark.
Barb—my dad’s second wife—certainly didn’t.
She was cold, calculating, and painfully critical.
She didn’t like how outgoing I was. She didn’t like how much I reminded people of my mom—who radiated warmth, charisma, and confidence. And she definitely didn’t like that I didn’t shrink myself to make room for her.
Barb had two daughters—one my age, one a bit older. And if you’ve ever heard the Cinderella comparison, let’s just say it wasn’t subtle.
She tried to chip away at my confidence in small, quiet ways.
But then came the moment that wasn’t so quiet.
Right before my mom’s wedding, Barb took me to a hair salon and chopped off all my long, beautiful hair. Not just a trim—a statement. I wasn’t her daughter, and I wasn’t going to look like the star of the show that day – even thought it wasn’t her day, it was my mom’s.
I remember seeing my reflection and barely recognizing myself.
The girl in the mirror looked smaller. Less sure. Less seen.
And then I saw my mom’s face when I walked in her place. Her eyes welled with tears, and she forced a smile. She didn’t say a word—she just wrapped me in a hug that said everything.
That day, I felt erased.
But it also lit a spark I wouldn’t fully understand until years later.
Because here’s what I know now: Your personal brand is how you reclaim your voice when someone tries to take it.
When Personal Branding Becomes Leadership
Years later, I gave one of my first big presentations at Expedia in front of a packed room. I was nervous. My heart was racing. And in true Las Vegas fashion, my stress showed up as hives on my neck and sweat I couldn’t hide.
So I dressed strategically: a sharp turtleneck and blazer—not exactly breathable in Vegas, but a power move all the same.
That day, I didn’t just look the part—I embodied it.
I spoke with calm authority, even though my pulse was pounding. And afterward, a senior executive pulled me aside and said, “That was a great job—you seemed so confident and composed. And I love your jacket.”
He saw the presence. He felt the personal brand emerge.
That day, I wasn’t performing … I was leading. And the confidence I’d built wasn’t accidental. It was branded.
What I Tell My Clients Now
Today, I coach leaders who want to be more visible, more confident, more influential.
But many of them start by playing small. Why?
Because that inner voice—the one that questions whether they’re good enough—takes over.
When that voice gets loud, I ask:What’s the worst that could happen if you speak up? And what’s the best that could happen?
Because if no one knows what you bring to the table, they can’t invite you to lead it.
One of my favorite reminders from a former business coach:
“You can’t be discoverable and invisible at the same time.”
That’s why I tell every leader I work with: building a personal brand isn’t a vanity pursuit—it’s a strategic necessity. It shapes perception. It creates opportunity. And it reinforces confidence when you need it most.
Branding Isn’t About Optics. It’s About Ownership.
Today, my brand looks like bold lipstick, bright shoes, and blazers with personality.
But more than that—it looks like clarity.
It sounds like confidence.
It feels like joy.
Because here’s the truth:
Your brand isn’t your Instagram grid.
It’s not your résumé format or your “vibe” on Zoom.
It’s how you show up—and how people feel when you leave the room.
And if you don’t define your brand, someone else will.
And their version might not serve you.
You don’t build a brand by being perfect.
You build it by being you—on purpose.
If I Could Talk to Her Now
If I could go back and talk to that little girl in the photo—the one with the long hair and the quiet strength—I’d tell her this:
Ask for what you want.
Start building your brand.
Be unapologetically authentic.
And don’t try to blend in—you were never meant to.
Let yourself feel things. Share them.
Don’t hide your spark to make others comfortable.
That spark will one day light the way for others.